Le Chic Chien Daily Howl

Giant schnauzers

tink — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 03:30:54 +0000

Those Damned Giant Schnauzers

Author: Tim Nyx

Got up this morning there rose such a clatter.
Seems all the Giants bark loud, “what’s the matter?”
I stumble and grumble in a daze down the hall
It’s 4 in the morning…I bounce of the wall

I’m sleepy and tired but I must move quick
the neighbors know damn well this noise ain’t St. Nick
So out through the back door the cold airs a blast
my arms sprouting goosebumps, my hands, feet, and ass!

When to my suprise the barking does cease
I notice some red pants, they’re not in one piece
a black boot lay mangled, the thought does occur
is that an old dog toy? or some kind of fur?

The chill of the night, the glint in the snow
I swear I hear sleighbells, but don’t really know
my wife sleeps through all this, it did not arouse her
then someone starts yelling, “those damn Giant Schnauzers!!”

I look to the sky, and what do I see
an angry old fat man he’s pointing at me
the scene look so strange, what’s with this old coot?
he’s up on my roof with no pants and one boot

Do my eyes deceive me? Could this really be?
Is Santa Claus angry? He’s yelling at me?
I brought you some presents he starts to explain
but those crazy guard dogs they must be insane

I talk to ALL animals but these, they don’t care
I slid down the chimney, I tried to be fair
the black ones, they warned me, they barked, meaning halt
but what the hells wrong with those Pepper and Salts?

They didn’t say one thing and they didn’t wait
I popped out the chimney and fell for the bait
then Santa stared at me, his face got all red
He pointed at Rico and here’s what he said

It’s that one, that bastard, I saw him last year
I should have remembered he counted reindeer
My sleigh is too large, your roof was too steep
I parked in your backyard, I thought he was sleep

I should have just skipped you, I think I’m too nice
the black ones, they chased me, and not once but twice
That big one, yeah Quintus, he chewed my back cushion
the Black Russian bit me, I know his name, Pushkin

That silly one there, he acts like a wolf
he pulled off my pants, yeah that one there, Ulf
The Doberman, Hercules and Sirius as well
They snatched off my right boot and chewed it to hell

I’m not coming back, lets make this quite clear
what’s pissin’ me off is I said that last year
These Giants, they’re crazy where ever I go
They act like there sleeping, I don’t really know

But this I can tell you and matter of fact
those crazy ass Giants don’t know how to act
I get here, I park it, so how in the heaven
do eight tiny reindeer become only seven?

I’ve traveled the world, and delivered my wares
but when I see Giants, their acting like bears
my elves won’t go near them, Miss Claus she gets pissed
and no “normal” person puts one on their list

With a snap of his finger the sleigh starts to rise
He turns and looks at me with fire in his eyes
Oh don’t think its over, he raises his fist
This whole things recorded, tell the Cybergiant list

You Giant folks listen, he told me to write
He said tell them all that the next Christmas night
prepare for the onslaught, and do heed his call
there will be some puppies for each one and all!!!!

Howl it forward!

tink — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 03:24:44 +0000

Canine Christmas, dogs love the joy!

tink — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 03:57:17 +0000

Merry Christmas to all and to all……

Quote of the Day

tink — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 12:35:43 +0000

I care not much for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
Abraham Lincoln

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S. Truman

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
Woodrow Wilson
Now this is so true- If my dog dismisses you or gives me cause not to trust I follow lead ! Good dog.

tink — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 12:17:19 +0000

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.” -James Thurber

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between dog and man.” -Mark Twain

In memory of Sept. 11 TH

tink — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 13:36:29 +0000

We remember the bright spirits that had their journey cut short
this eternally sad day.We remember the good will that
was sparked in people who rose to the occasion so gallantly We remember our canine friends who tirelessly & courageously helped
recover loved ones in the aftermath.
…Search and Rescue dogs rule!

PS. Remember our canine comrades that support our troops worldwide.

Walking on sunshine as all dogs should….

tink — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 02:05:37 +0000

The Hungarians have a fascinating method of dog training called the “Mirror Method”- pretty amazing!

tink — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 01:26:06 +0000

Gratitude: that quality which the Canine Mongrel seldom lacks; which the Human Mongrel seldom possesses!

Lion P.S. Rees

I prefer mutts. The artificial construction of the gene pool is bad for the species as a whole. In a restricted gene pool, the defects pile up. The truly superior specimen is the outbred, not the inbred.

Michael Swift

Food for Thought:

tink — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 01:26:42 +0000

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture
unless absolutely certain
that he can hold his own in the conversation.”
– Fran Lebowitz

“Ever consider what they must think of us?
I mean, here we come back from a grocery store
with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!”
– Anne Tyler

Thought for the day…..

tink — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 13:52:27 +0000

If you don’t have a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.” Roger Caras